The Wonders of Childhood

The immediate days following Jesus birth are somewhat of a blur to me.  Joseph went into Bethlehem and registered for the census, as required.  However, following that act he worried for days because God placed concern upon his heart.  There were so many people that knew about my son’s birth and even though I have kept quiet, fearing for the babe’s safety, people still gossip.  We fear word will reach Herod.  Joseph said that God has warned him in a dream that we must take a different route home where we will gather a few meager possessions and flee to Egypt , remaining there until God instructs us further.

 

It was good that we took heed to Joseph’s concerns as we’ve since learned that one of the Magi that had stopped at the manger the night of Jesus birth had told a story of seeing a babe born in the cold of night in Bethlehem while in route to Israel and about how all manner of people came to worship him that night.  It so happened that at the same event where the Magi was telling the story, purely for entertainment purposes, one of the King’s wise men---a scholar of the old testament—reminded the King that Micah predicted that a savior---a “King of all Kings” would be born in Bethlehem.  Herod panicked. Fearful that Jesus would grow up and overthrow him on the throne.  So he ordered all of the male children of toddler age and younger killed in Bethlehem.

 

Oh…how I grieve for those mothers.  When I heard of this I wept.  I went to the temple and prayed for those broken hearts.  As while I felt great relief that my son was safe, I knew that these other children had suffered—along with the families that loved them.

 

We remained in Egypt until Herod’s death.  Even then we are not truly safe, but we are tired and missing our kinsmen.  Joseph and I finally decide to return to the district of Galilee, to our home in Nazareth.

 

By now Jesus is a promiscuous toddler and into everything.  He is very curious in nature and learns quickly.  I am fortunate that I was taught how to read in order to study the scripture.  My father was educated, though that was not the norm for our time and place.  He received great joy in reading to us as children.  I am passing this passion onto my son, Jesus.  We spend many evenings by the hearth with scripture in one hand and my precious son upon my lap.

 

Jesus loves the story of Noah’s flood most of all.  He has such compassion for all living things, right down to the wooly caterpillars.  Few of my people have been awarded the gift of literacy.  Again, I believe God had his divination involved, knowing the Son of God would eventually make use of this skill.

When we arrive in Galilee we are welcomed by our family as we have been gone a long time.  Joseph’s  sons have grown so much we barely recognize them.  They have taken good care of our property and the family business of building and tent making continued in our absence under the guidance of my father.

 

My brothers and sisters have prepared everything for our return.  A great party in our honor is held for all our kinsmen with food of every variation, pomegranates, cheese, lentils, fresh baked unleavened breads dipped in olive oil and spices, fish---and even roasted lamb covered in a bitter herb sauce—which is a rare treat.  The wine flowed from large barrels.  It was a joyous occasion that I will not forget.

 

I had trouble keeping track of Jesus in the throng of relatives.  He fears no one and his curiosity sometimes gets the better of him.  Jesus, John of Zachariah (Elizabeth’s son), and Lazarus, another youth close in their age, all played together, hiding under furniture----climbing on people’s shoulders during the dancing---it was a wonderful time for Jesus.  He was able to meet his kinsmen and he developed the beginnings of a profound friendship with his two companions that would grow with him into his adulthood.

It is a constant challenge to be the mother of Jesus of Nazareth.

When he was twelve years old we went to Jerusalem to participate in the feast of the Passover.  The entire family traveled together, including all of the children, our parents, our cousins---it was quite a caravan.  Jesus couldn’t sleep for a week before we went each year.  He loved every holiday, but this was his favorite.  He took advantage of the opportunity to scout out the city. I eventually gave up trying to control him.  His intellect was so strong that keeping him in check was next to impossible.  

He had to collect every creature we came across that would fit in his girdle.  When washing his tunic it was common to find frogs, baby birds, or even mice.  I was surprised at nothing.  And amazingly, they all seemed to thrive in the palm of his hand even if when he found them they were injured.  I recognized he had the gift of healing, but held this close to my breast as God had instructed me.  I taught Jesus to be humble and quiet about his skills---they were a special secret between him and I.  He loved that we had special things that were known only between us—mother and son and his Lord on high.

 

On this Passover, we enjoyed the festivities with our kinsfolk.  Jesus, John of Zachariah and Lazarus were a threesome that would be seen on occasion running in circles and giggling from whatever game they were playing at the time.  When the feast was ended, we packed up our belongings and headed back to Galilee which was a full day’s journey.  We reached our home and were settling in, putting away our possessions when I realized I had not seen Jesus since we left Jerusalem.  I had assumed he was walking behind the caravan as was his custom.  However, he was nowhere to be found.

I was in a panic.  I ran screaming to Joseph!

“Have you seen Jesus?”

“No.”  Joseph replied, turning to me with an alarmed expression that matched my own.  Now I am even more afraid.  “I thought he was with Elizabeth and Zechariah!”……Joseph reached for my mantle on the hook that I had just placed there upon our return and handed it to me….”We must go back for him.”  I was exhausted, but feared for his safety—so we headed back to Jerusalem.

It took us three days to find him.  Three long--terrifying days.  I was so angry with him!  Yet, I’d give anything just to see him alive.

I had given up all hope.  We had checked the area where we had set up camp.  We checked the marketplace and the stables---no one had seen him.

On the third day I walked to the temple to pray.  I was so afraid. I was responsible for God’s child.  He has given him to me to watch and care over---and I had lost him.  How could I even face God now?  Although ashamed, I had nowhere else to turn but to God.

There….among a circle of elders, teachers, and wise men sat my son.  He was listening intently, occasionally asking questions.  When they explained a biblical verse he would expound on it and provide an allegory—a poem or parable that made the meaning even more clear for many of the men in the circle around him.  They were amazed by the depth of his understanding considering he was but a child.  I listened for a bit and my pride in him doused the anger and anxiety that had been poisoning my heart for the past three days.

Walking over to him I leaned down and touched him on the shoulder, “Son, why have you treated your father and me so?  Behold we have been looking for your anxiously.”

And he said to me, “How hard did you look for me?  Wouldn’t you have automatically known I would be in my Father’s house?”

The men sitting around him did not understand the question that he put to me and thought he was being disrespectful ……

But I did understand…..

I understood it well…….

The Birth

All of my life, as far back as I can remember, my family has planned for the day that I would be married.  It is the custom of our people that I must marry within my own tribe.  We marry very young, as a marriage is the joining for families and resources and is very important to the thriving of our people.

My husband had been chosen and the betrothal of marriage complete by the time I am 9 years old.  The groom’s father paid the mohar to my family which consisted of a beautiful vineyard, six pieces of silver, and reams of silk cloth.  My father, being a kind man, held these gifts until the final marriage ceremony at which time I would have gone to live with my husband’s family.  My father, being a kind man, planned to share some of the mohar with my groom and me so we could have some security as we started our lives together.  However, my groom is killed at an early age before I even have grown enough to go live with him.

Fate is a mysterious thing.  I am only two months away from my 16th birthday when this happens.  We were only weeks away from the wedding to celebrate my leaving to live with my new husband.  My mother has been preparing for this day in great anticipation.  Our people love gathering for blessed events such as this as a woman is looked fondly upon by the tribe for her hospitality and the men love an excuse to have a festival and cease a day’s work.  Now I am faced with the grief of losing my groom and other things are happening that make no sense to me.

My mother sits and weeps and I know not how to comfort her.  My father paces the room and my brothers and father are speaking in low urgent voices.  I have brought them great shame, yet I swear I am innocent.  I see the doubt in their eyes and I have never known such despair.

Not only am I without a husband, but I am with child.  I know not how.  My monthly cycle did not happen as expected, but since I have never been with a man I assumed I was ill, or perhaps it was late because of my upset.  I went to my mother and told her I must see the physician.  Before I could catch my breath our entire lives had changed from eager anticipation---to despair.  I hate the look of disappointment in my father’s  eye.  I reach for his hand and he pulls from my touch.  My heart stabs with pain as I love my father and it kills me to no longer have his admiration.

My brother has told my father of a widower in the tribe whose wife has been taken to heaven.  The man’s name is Joseph and he has several children and no one to help him in his household to raise them.

My father summons for Joseph, offering him the entire dowry, if only he will marry me and provide me protection from disgrace.

I have cried until my eyes have dried up and swollen so that I have trouble with my vision.  As I slept fitfully last night, God seemed to speak to me and offer me assurance.  I know not why this is happening, but I am trying to keep my heart open for understanding.

Joseph complains to my father as he is much older than me and feels he is not the best solution for a husband.  However, he has agreed to go to God in prayer tonight for guidance.

I know not what to do.  I am lost and afraid.

Joseph arrived this morning and said that an angel had spoken to him during his prayer and fasting. 

The angel had said,“Do not fear to take Mary as your wife.  The child she carries is of the Holy Spirit.  She will bear a son and you shall call him Jesus, God with us, and he will save people from their sins”. 

So when Joseph awakened, he hastened here to tell me and my father the good news.  Joseph warned me that his children are not in favor of our union, but he assures me they will grow accustomed to it.

Although I have some trepidation as to Joseph’s age, he seems to be a gentle man and it will save my family from disgrace.  No one will believe that the child I carry is conceived of the Holy Spirit.  I will keep this close to my heart until which time God leads me otherwise.  If I speak of this openly they will think me possessed by demons or a liar.

My mother has come from the market square, trading goods for fresh produce.  She has learned that a kinswoman in our family, an older woman beyond childbearing years, is with child and expecting to deliver within the next three months.  Because of the risks of this woman baring a child in advanced years, my mother is sending me to stay with her until her baby is born to assist her with chores. This will be good experience for me as I will learn the ways of which one births a child.

Joseph will go ahead and prepare a home for us from my dowry while I service my kinswoman, Elizabeth in the house of Zechariah. 

I packed a bag of clothing and left on a donkey for the city of Judah to stay with Elizabeth.  My time there was special.  Elizabeth, though old enough to be my own mother, was very kind.  When I entered her house the first day, she laughed, grabbing her extended womb, as the babe within her had kicked hard almost as if in response to my entering the threshold of their domain. 

Elizabeth laughed, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.  Why is it I am favored that the mother of my Lord and Savior should come to service me in my own household?” 

She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.  I felt love for her instantly.  She knew of my condition and even knew of my innocence, yet I know not how.  I found joy in it.  I was blessed by her—comforted by the Holy Spirit through her kindness to me.  God was offering me love poured out through this woman, his servant in the kingdom of heaven.  Our children will be close in age and perhaps Jesus and John will be friends as well as kinsmen.  It is a wonderful thought.

In the three months that I serviced the Zechariah household, Elizabeth and I had many opportunities for conversation. She was a wonderful story teller and her words were often witty, filled with entertainment.  I so enjoyed our time together.

She told me how she and her husband had so desperately wanted a child, yet they were barren.  Her husband had gone to the temple to pray.  She told me how God had spoken to her husband Zechariah, telling him she would bear a son and he would be named John.  Zechariah did not believe and he came down with an illness that had been circulating among the people that caused him to be weary early in the day and return home to his cot to rest.  God took his voice from him for several months in punishment for his mistrust of the Lord.  Being sick and unable to command his workers, Zechariah spent a lot of time at home with Elizabeth.  

"We spent many hours upon the cot enjoying the sanctity of our marriage vows as he recovered", Elizabeth tells me with a twinkle in her eye.

Does not her husband know that in God all things are possible?  Surely now he knows, as the birth of his son, John draws near.  Now the child will be raised knowing that he is very special---that he will prepare the people for the coming of the Lord and Savior—my precious son, Jesus.

I have felt my own babe quicken in my womb of late and my excitement grows.

Once the babe of Zechariah was born and Elizabeth recovered, it was time for me to leave and return to my husband.  I bade them goodbye, offering them prayer and blessings for their future as a family.  I too am now starting to slow with the burden of my child within me---being now six months into my pregnancy.  Joseph and I spend the next two months setting up our household with our meager belongings and starting our life together.  Joseph is a good husband, though he does not touch me the way a husband would touch a wife.  He tells me we must wait until the birth of the child.  Sometimes this makes me sad, as I am growing fond of him as a wife should for her husband.  Working by his side daily I see that the Lord has provided me a good man.  Joseph is kind, gentle, and loyal.  I work hard to be a helpmate to him and I trust him as the pastor to our household. 

Time seems to go by quickly.  These days it is difficult for me to move about.  The burden of my extended abdomen makes everything a challenge.  The baby is active and healthy within me.  I feel great love for him even though we only touch each other through the skin of my womb.  I am still so amazed that this child was conceived without me knowing a man.  Sometimes I am fearful, but then the Lord wraps me in a warm glow and I calm my spirit.  It is important for me to remain quiet and do his bidding when the time comes.  I must keep many things to myself and not be like the women in the market who have lips that are out of control at times.  God has asked me to keep all things to myself unless led by Him to disclose them.  This is easy for me as I am naturally shy and not boisterous, as some women in my tribe.

Joseph has returned home from work.  He is a craftsman and builder.  He has heard in his travels today that a decree has gone out from Caesar Augustus that a census is being taken and all must be enrolled each to the city of his ancestors.  Although we live in Nazareth, Joseph is of the lineage of the house of David, which is Bethlehem.  He must go there to be enrolled.  I could stay behind, but I am close to my time of deliverance and Joseph does not want me to be without him.  The other children will be safe, as we will not be gone long.  We have relatives who can watch over them.

Joseph's loving, kind heart warms me.  We discuss that the trip may be difficult for me in my current condition, just days away from birth.  Travel may not be safe.  However, we feel led to make the trip.  Sometimes one must trust when being given a gentle push by God. 

We arrive in Bethlehem late into the evening.  There is only one inn in the city and it is full as many people have come for the census.  Riding on the donkey so many hours has my womb cramping and I am exhausted to the point that I feel ill.  Joseph is very worried about me and knows I must find some place to rest.  We head back outside the city as we’ve been told a farmer sometimes allows visitors free boarding in the manger he built for his livestock.  The farmer is a kind man and gladly offers us rest in the straw bedding under the cover of the manger awning and out of the cold.  I am relieved.  The pain is getting worse and I fear that the babe is going to be born this night.

Over the next several hours labor increased and it was obvious that I would be giving birth here in the manger.  Joseph made a bed for the child using a water trough and padding it with straw.  He pulled out swaddles of cloth from our bags in which to wrap the babe upon his birth.  Joseph held my hand and saw me through the pain.  He delivered the child, as he’d helped his first wife in labor with all of his children.  I was fortunate to have him by my side.  I also realize now how fortunate I was to have served my kinswoman, Elizabeth when she had her son John, as that experience prepared me for this occasion.  God is truly wonderful in how he knows every challenge we will face before it even happens. 

As soon as the baby was born and Joseph had cleared the mucous from the child’s mouth, the babe let out a cry and I was handed my son to nestle to my breast.  Oh what a heavenly moment.  It was the closest to God I have ever felt.  Through tears of joy I devoured the sight of him.  His skin smelled new and was intoxicating in a way I could not expect anyone but another mother to understand.  He had a soft downy layer of hair that felt like spun satin.  His eyes, though swollen from the birth, squinted at me---dark, glistening like diamonds.  I had never known such joy as this moment in time.  Have you ever felt love so strongly that you heart literally felt like it was expanding in your chest and surely would not be contained by the walls of flesh surrounding it?  That was how it was for me.  Glory to God on the highest.  Blessed is His name.

Before long visitors started coming into the manger.  I was exhausted from my labor and wished to sleep—but the birth of this child, though I wanted it to be private, seemed to be announced by the angels on high---as the moon was brighter than I’d ever seen it---a huge presence in the sky—more than one hundred times larger than normal, almost taking up the entire horizon.  The stars brilliantly illuminated the dark night and the travelers spoke of multiple stars falling to earth almost as if the stars were raining down upon us. 

I thought, perhaps, in my newfound joy I was just seeing things through the magic of motherhood.  But people kept arriving in the manger---as if drawn to us somehow by an invisible force.  Again, my heart quickened with fear.  I love this babe so deeply.  I know he is but mine for the period of his childhood, but I want to protect him.  I have never felt love such as this in my lifetime.  I do not want to share him.  I would die for him.  Joseph reminds me I must accept what is to be.  Before the rise of the sun all type of people of all stations---from shepherds to kings---had stopped at the manger as a resting point in their travels—not knowing what had drawn them there until they saw my new babe and they worshipped him.  Some left us gifts, knowing we were simple folk without many possessions, far from home.  Looking back now, I realize God was trying to prepare me from the very moment of my babe’s birth to learn to share him with “the people”---the very people he would eventually save---save through the greatest sacrifice of all---his life.